Let me start off by saying that I didn’t really watch a trailer for this movie before seeing it. I honestly knew almost nothing about it. I knew Ryan Gosling played Ken and that’s about how far my knowledge of the movie went. I no naively thought it was a fun, lighthearted, feel-good movie about a beloved toy. I could not have been more wrong.
My sister and I just wanted to enjoy a night out to be entertained after tucking our sweet babies into bed for the night. We were anything but entertained.
So… let’s get into my honest review/opinion of the Barbie movie. This might be more of a synopsis so if you don’t want to know the details or hear spoilers, don’t read this.
(spoilers):
I am sickened that I lost two hours of my life watching such a load of garbage. The entire movie is nothing more than a progressive, woke twisted perspective of the world.
Let me begin with the opening sequence of this movie. Little girls playing with their beloved baby dolls… and then comes Barbie. Now all the little girls begin throwing, kicking, and destroying their baby dolls. Do you see the real life equivalent of this horrific scene? We have women today disposing of their babies in the womb because they’re not “convenient” or planned. We have women trading families in for careers that will never bring them true purpose or fulfillment. Women choose their bodies over being mothers. We have women destroying their children for themselves and their own selfish desires and needs.
Moving on before I get stuck here…
One day Barbie wakes up in Barbieland to a not-so-perfect day. She starts wondering about death and then becomes flat-footed. She visits “weird Barbie” (a Barbie who was played with too much and got ugly and weird), and discovers she and her real life girl owner have opened a portal between Barbieland and the real world. Barbie must help the little girl feel happy otherwise Barbie will continue to get ugly and weird. All who live in Barbieland are under the impression that Barbie has changed the world for the better aka women are in charge of the world and are no longer stuck playing with baby dolls as young girls or stuck in the kitchen as grown women caring for their families.
Ken is a total loser who has no purpose without the attention of Barbie. He is also in a contentious rivalry with Ken (another Ken doll). So when Barbie heads out on her journey to the real world to fix things, Ken stows away in her Barbie car. Barbie – who finds Ken to be annoying and useless, reluctantly agrees to allow him to go with her to save face in front of Ken.
Once in the real world, Barbie feels very uncomfortable with all of the attention she’s receiving. Men are whistling at her, winking at her, making inappropriate comments to her and about her. One man even slapped her on the butt in broad daylight in a public place where no one even did a double take because, after all, that’s just normal in the real world. Ken, on the other hand, is loving the real world. People pay attention to him, talk to him and one lady even asked him what time it was! Wow! After being a nuance to Barbie for too long, Ken sets out to explore this world. He discovers the reason it’s so great is because it’s a patriarchy! Yes, the real world is not run by women as the Barbies thought, but instead, it’s ruled by men! You see, men can become anything they want – doctors, lawyers, presidents, and in fact, if you look around, only men are in these roles! Women are hardly seen. Men rule!
Meanwhile, Barbie has discovered who her owner is and sets off to find her. However, Mattel, who is run by a bunch of stuffy men in suits, finds out Barbie is loose in the real world! They go find chatting with her owner who now believes Barbie is a fascist! She was even brave enough to call Barbie a fascist to her tear-covered face!
Long story short, the mother of Barbie’s owner works for Mattel and had overheard the men were going to box Barbie up. As she’s picking her daughter up from school, she chases after Barbie to save her from the horrible Mattel men. The mother is actually the one who has unlocked the portal between worlds by playing with Barbie because she feels lonely now that her daughter absolutely hates her.
Ken saw the Mattel men take Barbie, but he was too much of a coward to go after her. He went back to Barbieland to take the patriarchy back there and rule.
The girls and Barbie go back to a now Ken dominated patriarchal Barbieland. It’s horrible! All the smart, amazing Barbies are now brainwashed and reduced to serving their Kens and getting them beer.
Barbie is now feeling defeated. Has she turned into an ugly and weird Barbie?! The mother tries to encourage Barbie, but ends up in a ”I am woman, hear me roar” sort of stereotypical feminist rant about how women are never good enough, they have to be perfect, but not ”too” perfect. They have to have babies but try to balance a career too. They’re just never good enough for the male dominating world! This magically snaps one Barbie out of her brainwashed trance to remember that she’s a smart, noble peace prize-winning Barbie.
The Barbies begin to plan a takeback of Barbieland where they must get the Barbies alone and the mother gives her speech to all of the Barbies until they’re all smart again. Kens are too busy being conceited to even notice. Then the Barbies use the failings of the macho man thinking to get them to all fight with each other allowing the Barbies to reinstate their perfect, Barbie ran constitution and government. President Barbie is back in the White… uhh… Pink House!
Ken is absolutely devastated because Barbie wants nothing to do with her. She’s confident and powerful so who needs a man? She helps him realize he just needs to discover who he is without Barbie. You see… in this perfect world, everything is Barbie. Ken has and is nothing unless Barbie allows it. This is the correct way to do things.
The end.
Oh, wait… I forgot that Barbie’s creator takes Barbie on a feel-ful journey and discovers she can be human. So Barbie gets all excited to change the world, the real world. We see Barbie exit her new friend’s car to walk into a building… Barbie is doing it! Could she be applying for a job that will help people in need? Is she volunteering for an organization that helps empower women? No. She’s going to her first gynecologist appointment.
The end!
Also, we’re told that we need an ordinary Barbie! A Barbie who doesn’t have to be perfect or “extraordinary,” but rather maybe “just” a mom. Whew! I thought moms were extraordinary there for a minute! Glad they made sure to shut that down. And Midge, you know, the pregnant Barbie… yeah, while she hasn’t been exiled to “weird” Barbieland, no one likes her or thinks she’s pretty or nice or even worth noticing. I guess maybe because she’s happily pregnant instead of choosing some important career, the other Barbies think she’s lame.
And there’s a guy who thinks he’s a woman playing Doctor Barbie. Yeah. A biological male playing a Barbie. Nothing says “girl power” more than a mentally ill man who took the part from a real woman.
Ryan Gosling and every man in this movie should be embarrassed they were part of this. Grown men not holding back acting like stupid, useless, plastic with no purpose.
This movie was not empowering for young women. This movie taught women that they are repressed and unable to be anything more than heartless, mean, people who will never be more than an “object” to men. Never mind the fact this movie will undoubtingly become a huge hit because it’s full of feminist women. Men will also praise this garbage while apologizing for their existence. I want my daughter to know she does not have to put down men to elevate herself. I want her to know there’s nothing wrong with being beautiful and intelligent. I want her to know there’s nothing wrong with becoming a mom or choosing to be a stay-at-home mom. I want her to know that if she chooses that life, it will be one of beauty and purpose. I want her to grow up and be kind and caring. I don’t want her to desire a woman-ruled world.
This movie teaches boys and young men that they are stupid and shouldn’t be given the time of day unless a woman thinks it’s necessary, which it never is. It humiliates men and turns them into a joke. I want my boys to grow up knowing they are strong and smart and can accomplish great things. I want my boys to grow up respecting women but never apologize for being a man.
I want my children to know men and women both have strengths and weaknesses and that we need each other. I want my children to know both men and women have purpose and bring value to the table. That our world will be better once we realize there are only two genders, and those two genders are both necessary and can do more together than apart.
Bottom line. I do not recommend this movie. It’s not appropriate for all ages despite what the media tells you. It’s chock full of progressive leftist agenda, sexual innuendos that aren’t so subtle, talk of genitalia, and at the end, president Barbie throws out an overtly “motherf*****” which is bleeped out to keep that PG-13 rating, but we all know exactly what she said. It’s not worth your time or money. It is not even entertaining. It literally just felt like AOC preaching at me for 2 hours.
Fearless Joy 