I saw a photo on Instagram soon after my oldest was born. It was of a young teenage girl dressed as a mom for Halloween. She was wearing leggings, a dirty tee shirt, messy bun, and holding a coffee cup with a baby doll attached to her leg. She even used makeup to add dark circles under her eyes. While this was truly hilarious because she kinda nailed it… I saw something besides the joke. Don’t get me wrong, I saw the humor and honesty in it. I related to it even. However, it made me so incredibly sad at the same time because I realized this is how people, especially young women, view motherhood. They don’t usually see the beauty in it – the miracle of motherhood. They usually see the exhaustion and messy side of it. Young girls, especially, see motherhood as something that will weigh them down and stop them from pursuing their dreams. They see it as an end to their freedom. Motherhood is viewed as “where life ends.”
Yes, motherhood is exhausting and a full-time job. They actually say being a mom is the equivalent of working two full-time jobs. Two full-time jobs where you happen to always be on call! It’s a lot. And you do make sacrifices. I sacrificed my body, my time, my job and other little things along the way. But my goodness… The reward. The reward far out weighs any of the sacrifices I’ve made! This is the most rewarding and satisfying job I’ve ever had the privilege of working. In all honesty, I don’t even see the sacrifices as sacrifices. I traded something in for something so much better.
One of, if not the main reason, God put it on my heart to start this blog was to share a different perspective of motherhood. I remember being so frustrated and bothered when I’d see memes about how awful motherhood was while on social media before I got pregnant with Olivia. I would have given anything to have children climbing all over me crying while I made their lunch for them. I longed for the day I would run on 2 hours of sleep with a newborn. I was frustrated with women taking the greatest blessing God had given them for granted. We need to change the perception of motherhood. People often paint motherhood in such a terrible light that it’s no wonder women are scared of it. Women who are looking at abortion no doubt are thinking of the horror stories they’ve been told about motherhood. Even women who are “ready” to become mothers get anxious and concerned about what it will be like. I know for me personally, I was so ready to finally have my child of promise I wasn’t that worried about it, but I was still nervous. I was told, “oh, wait until they’re mobile. Wait until the terrible two’s. Wait until they can talk back. Wait until they’re teenagers.” And on and on it went. But motherhood doesn’t have to be a negative meme you see most friends posting. Sure, motherhood can be negative depending on how you choose to look at it, but it certainly does not have to be (and it absolutely should not be). This is true of most things. Motherhood is so incredibly wonderful and special. I wish more moms would step up and talk about the wonderful experience motherhood is instead of posting things about how awful it is. And I want to be a part of that shift in perspective. I hope sharing my mom journey allows people to see the beautiful gift motherhood is.
Before I had kids, I always hated when moms would tell me negative things about being a mom. Parents are so eager to tell you what you’ll be missing, but almost never tell you what you can look forward to. I always hated how moms would say stuff like, “mom life” but mean it in a negative way. You know, like when their kid had a meltdown over something small. There were times a mom’s kids were yelling and throwing stuff, and the mom looked at me and said, “enjoy your freedom while you have it.” Motherhood isn’t always easy, but it is not awful!
I think if we already have a negative perspective on motherhood going into it, that’s what we’ll experience in most cases. Whatever we focus on becomes magnified. So if we’re focusing on the more challenging aspects of motherhood, it’s easy to become discouraged, and think that’s all that motherhood is. We can get to a point where motherhood loses its beauty and it becomes a loss of self that’s hard to deal with. Motherhood is a blessing. It’s the most amazing experience you can ever imagine going through. Here’s the truth about motherhood… motherhood is the most empowering experience for a woman. From start to finish, it is an experience like none other.
My hope is to help women learn the truth about motherhood and know that it is not at all a loss of self, but an empowering journey of finding things out about yourself you never knew were there. Motherhood is an adventure. It’s exciting and fun and yes, sometimes terrifying. But an experience you’ll never regret.
Fearless Joy 